


Sweet Denial

by CarnalCoast



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Anal Sex, Coming Out, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:46:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4499460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarnalCoast/pseuds/CarnalCoast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Misaki wasn't believed, and one time he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Someone telling the truth isn't believed"

There was no doubt in Takahiro’s mind that his darling brother was blatantly lying.

Still, he kept his expression neutral, with the slight grace of a smile and unassuming eyes. From across the small café table, Misaki tapped his fingers on the smooth surface anxiously, obviously on edge. Whatever show the boy was trying to put on—biting his lip, cheeks flushed and eyes guiltily wide—Takahiro knew it was nothing but a façade. Because there was no way it could be true. It was something that had never crossed his mind once, even throughout all his years of raising Misaki. Takahiro knew his younger brother like the back of his hand, and was confident about it.

That was why the words _“I’m in love with Usagi-san”_ held no weight, drifting meekly in and out of the conversation as if Misaki had simply said _“It’s raining today.”_

Takahiro took another sweet, short sip of his smoothie as he thought over a reply. Misaki’s still hadn’t been touched. It was the brothers’ tradition to order smoothies whenever only the two of them went out, but that didn’t mean Misaki felt that his was appetizing at the moment. If he drank, he’d surely puke.

“Well, Misaki, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull by saying such a thing.” Takahiro settled to keep his light tone, his voice as genuine and agreeable as it always was. “But I assure you that you can tell me the truth, and stop with these strange cover-ups. I won’t be mad, I promise. Is it an older woman, or a girl you think I would disapprove of?”

Misaki could only stare blankly as he struggled to comprehend. His brother didn’t believe him; that much was clear. Takahiro was acting as if there was no chance in hell that Misaki could be telling the truth—that it hadn’t even crossed his mind to consider such a notion. His younger brother, in love with his best friend of so many years? Preposterous.

But Takahiro’s stubborn unawareness just wouldn’t do—not this time. Misaki knew he couldn’t play it off and lie to his brother again, saying that he had no lover and wasn’t interested in one. Because Takahiro, as Misaki was earlier joining his brother and nephew on a small family outing, found a roll of condoms in Misaki’s bag.

Immediately, Misaki had known where they’d come from—who had put them there. If he’d realized sooner, he would’ve quickly gotten rid of them, but it was too late. Akihiko’s teasing antics resulted in a dire consequence this time, and Misaki had to take the fall alone. At least, until his lover would find himself undoubtedly under fire by Takahiro as well.

Besides, what could he possibly say? _“They’re just in case.”_ In case of what? That excuse would still insinuate _something_ that Takahiro would be curious about, and Misaki didn’t want to make up any imaginary partners that he’d have to pretend to be sexually active with. That would only get him into more trouble than it was worth.

So, he tried again, although made hesitant by his first failure. “Um... Nii-san, I know it’s probably hard to believe... But Usagi-san and I are really—“

“Enough of these jokes, Misaki! I care about you very much, so I want to hear the truth. Please, don’t you think I’m allowed at least that much?” Takahiro sounded sincerely concerned, which only added to Misaki’s stress.

Fidgeting, he tried a different angle. “I... I understand, Nii-san, and I’m sorry that I’ve kept it from you. I really am. B-But I _am_ telling you the truth...!”

By Takahiro’s increasing agitation—his eyebrows furrowed slightly, his eyes hardening—Misaki could see that his brother still was unbelieving. “Misaki, I’m disappointed that you would try so hard to keep something like this from me. Whatever girl it is, I’m sure—“

“There is _no girl!_ ” He couldn’t take it anymore, channeling all of his nervousness and uncertainty into frustration. Misaki glared, clenching his hand to halt the tapping. “I don’t know how else to get you to believe me, but it’s _true!_ Usagi-san and I—w-we’re together, and have been... f-for a long time! I’m sorry Nii-san, that I didn’t tell you, but it’s hard—e-especially when you do something like this, and y-you don’t believe me... I’m not lying! Talk to Usagi-san for yourself if that makes it easier to believe! He’ll tell you the same thing!”

Finally, it ended, and Misaki tried to catch his breath, the last of his frustration fading away. All that was left was a lingering uneasiness as he watched his brother’s expression, which had turned surprised and somewhat confused. Getting all of his words out immensely relieved Misaki, and he felt much lighter, but he still had to brace himself for what was yet to come.

It took a while for Takahiro to respond, and when he did, his response was extremely uncertain.

“I... I don’t know what to say... I was _sure_ you were just saying that, a-as a cover-up of some sorts...”

That brought back some of Misaki’s frustration, and he glared, assertive. “There is no cover-up, Nii-san. I’m sorry for getting angry, but you wouldn’t listen...”

Again, they fell into an awkward silence as Takahiro struggled to collect his thoughts while Misaki’s anger transformed into fear. What would happen now? This hadn’t gone as he’d hoped it would—then again, he didn’t assume it would go well either.

“I... I planned on telling you, I did... But I guess I waited too long. I was just... nervous. About how you would react.” He continued talking, voice small, hoping to make the situation better than it already was. Takahiro caught onto him, and tried as well.

“Y-Yeah, I can see how you would be nervous about something like that...” The older man laughed nervously, disquiet clouding over both of them. He knew that he couldn’t just talk around it, but this wasn’t what he’d expected from Misaki, his innocent brother. Not at all. “I...”

Misaki watched in trepidation as Takahiro sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. That wasn’t a very good sign, was it?

“I... This is the last thing I would’ve expected. I mean, I knew that Usagi was... That he wasn’t interested in women, but I never thought... Misaki, how did this happen? Did he... pressure you?” Takahiro looked at his brother closely, seriously trying to make sense of the situation. Misaki only blinked, though, scrambling for an appropriate answer.

“P-Pressure...? Nii-san, I don’t understand why you would think that... I can take care of myself!” Flashes of the start of his and Akihiko’s relationship appeared in his mind, but he quickly pushed them away. Being uncertain would only worsen the current situation, and he knew things were different now than they had once been. It would be of no use to dwell on the past, especially when Takahiro was asking him this sort of question. So, he continued more confidently, “I wouldn’t let someone do something to me if I didn’t want them to...”

“I know that you’re an adult now Misaki, but I just... I _know_ what kind of person Akihiko is. He can be very self-centered and apathetic towards other people, not taking their feelings into account... Can you understand why I would be worried about you... b-being in a relationship with him?” Countless thoughts of Takahiro possibly making the wrong decision and putting his younger brother in danger ran through his mind, distressing him further.

“I... understand, Nii-san. And you’re right; sometimes, Usagi-san can be completely arrogant and childish. He sometimes acts as if the world revolves around him and everyone should fall at his feet,” Misaki rambled, his exasperation at his lover showing through. Looking at Takahiro, though, he quickly turned the conversation in a positive direction. “But... He isn’t like that, towards me... He... He is... a very g-good lover, Nii-san. He’s different, when he’s with me...” His face reddened immensely, trying to find the right words without embarrassing himself too much. “And he... he treats me right, I can promise you. He would... would die to protect me...”

It was the truth, Misaki knew, but it was still intense to hear it out loud.

The duo stayed silent for a moment longer, during which Misaki finally took a sip of his smoothie. It’d turned rather watery.

“...Alright.” Takahiro eventually relented, looking up with a small smile. “I can see that you’re happy. And I’m... glad that you’ve found happiness, even if it is with a person that I would least expect. If... If this really is your own decision, and you’re proud of the choices you’ve made, then... I’m proud of you too, Misaki.”

Misaki’s eyes brightened, his chest light. His brother had always been a kind and tolerant person; now, he didn’t understand how he could’ve expected anything different than this. “Th-Thank you, Nii-san! Y-Yes, I’m happy...!” He smiled widely, a joyous blush filling his cheeks. Was that it? Takahiro had already accepted them?

Takahiro’s smile widened as well, and he nodded contentedly. “Good. Though, I do have to ask...” He rested his head on his hand, suddenly hesitant. “I... I never figured that you were... gay, Misaki. Not that you ever talked about girls that much while you were growing up, either, but I just assumed... You never seemed interested in boys, anyway. Was there something I missed? Is it because I... wasn’t there for you as much as I should’ve been? I’m just... trying to wrap my head around it...”

Staring, Misaki was surprised at such accusations. He didn’t want his brother to feel guilty about anything, and he rushed, “N-No! That’s not it at all, Nii-san... I...” He’d already thought about this before—living with Akihiko, he’d had a very long time to mull over his sexuality—and carefully tried to explain himself. He’d never talked about such things before, so it put him slightly on edge. “I... I’m not gay, Nii-san. And I know you’d think otherwise, with me being with Usagi-san and all, but... I’ve liked girls before too. Usagi-san is just the only m-man I’ve ever felt this way about... I just—I think I’m just pansexual, if you know what that means?” Takahiro looked as if he didn’t, so Misaki hastily continued, “It means that the gender of whoever I like doesn’t really matter. Th-That isn’t what determines whether or not I’m attracted to them... I know it’s confusing, but it’s the conclusion I’ve come to. It’s just how I am. I like Usagi-san just f-for who he is as a person. Nothing is your fault, Nii-san.”

Nodding slowly, Takahiro bit his lip and tried to understand. “Okay, I think I get it. Not that it truly matters, Misaki, I know it doesn’t—all that matters to me is that you’re happy with him, okay?”

Relieved, Misaki nodded back, smiling. “Okay. Thank you, Nii-san.” When nothing but silence met him, he cautiously continued, “...So, y-you’re accepting of us?”

“Of course!—Well...” Takahiro seemed to be incredulous that his brother would even ask such a question, but then paused in contemplation. “I... want to talk to Usagi about things as well. Could I stop by tomorrow for a little visit?”

“S-Sure!” Misaki replied, mentally making sure that the couple had nothing to do tomorrow. Anything to make his brother more comfortable with the situation.

“And, also...” Takahiro’s voice quieted, and he looked uneasy. “I’m... glad to see that you’re using protection, but...” Immediately, Misaki’s face turned bright scarlet. He’d forgotten about that. “...I’m just worried that he would hurt you in any way. He hasn’t, right? You know that you shouldn’t let him push you into doing anything you aren’t comfortable with, right? How quickly did you two even become sexually active?”

The questions appeared rapid-fire, and Misaki flinched at the strong embarrassment he felt. The last thing he wanted was to have this kind of conversation with his brother, who’d practically raised him—and from the looks of it, Takahiro was just as uncomfortable. Even more so, Misaki didn’t want to give any hints to how long he and Akihiko had been in a relationship, or how it had begun. Whether or not to tell Takahiro the entire story would have to be up to Akihiko, Misaki knew.

“I-I know, Nii-san, we’re fine, and I’m not doing anything that I-I’m not comfortable w-with. W-We.... um, w-we did stuff pretty e-early, but i-it’s okay, I promise! We’re doing just fine, and you don’t have to worry about anything!” He hurried on, trying to get the harrowing ordeal over with as soon as possible. “A-Anyway, if that’s all...”

“...Um, yeah.” Takahiro’s slightly disturbed expression lingered a moment longer, before it was washed away with a gentle smile. “...I’m glad you’re happy, then, Misaki. I only wish that you would’ve told me sooner. I mean, Usagi is my best friend, and you’re my brother!” He spoke with an admonishing tone, and Misaki easily understood how his brother might be disheartened by that fact. He looked down, faint remorse tinging his expression.

“...S-Sorry, Nii-san. I just... was anxious, and I wanted to... wait until I was ready. I hope you’re not... too mad, though?” He glanced back up to meet his brother’s eyes, hopeful.

Fortunately, Takahiro’s smile remained. “Of course I’m not mad, Misaki. I love and care about you; I only want to look out for you.”

Barely embarrassed, Misaki looked down again with a blush. “Nii-san...”

He could say little else, but the hug between the two brothers before they parted ways spoke volumes. As he watched his brother’s back get farther and farther away until it faded into the crowd of people, he still felt rather nervous. Tomorrow, would Akihiko mess things up somehow by saying the wrong thing? That wouldn’t happen, right?

Taking in a deep breath, he urged himself to keep his mind on the previous conversation. It had went well, at least, and Misaki managed to smile as he exhaled, feeling years and years of weight being lifted off his shoulders.

 

 

This had happened many times before, but to Misaki, each time only seemed to get worse, as if he were descending various layers of hell. Ijuuin stared at him patronizingly, a look that read _“I don’t believe you in the slightest; you have no idea what you’re talking about, you poor boy.”_

To Misaki’s great chagrin, he found himself flushing in embarrassment at the glare he was receiving, which only urged the other man’s mouth to stretch into a lecherous smirk. There could be no escape, either; they were in a cramped office room, alone, and trying to get out would only cause a scene, considering that Ijuuin would no doubt catch him.

Misaki gulped. He simply had to keep pushing.

“I-I mean...” To his disdain, he stuttered again, and took a breath as Ijuuin’s eyes glinted. “Usagi-san and I... w-we... it’s different, with him. I’m s-sorry, Sensei...”

“You and Usami? Yes, go on?” Ijuuin seemed to only take pleasure and amusement in Misaki’s struggling, and stepped closer—close enough that he could reach his hand out and barely miss brushing the boy’s face. Misaki flinched, feeling frozen; he couldn’t move, for some reason.

“U-Um...” Misaki yelled at himself in his mind to _say something, anything more,_ but his throat dried up like a desert. He mouthed, but no sounds escaped.

“Yes, I must be a better kisser. Is that it, my dear Misaki? Are you nervous about turning him down? Don’t worry; I can deal with that...” Ijuuin’s whispers against his ear sounded more like threats than anything else, and the manga author’s hand breezily trailed up Misaki’s arm. It was madness, he thought—was the man going to try and kiss him again, now? This had to be stopped, somehow.

“N-... No!” Misaki managed to yelp out, pushing Ijuuin away. Though, it wasn’t with much strength, and the man moved back a mere inch. Still, it seemed to be enough for Misaki to build up courage, and he continued shakily, “I-I... That’s not true! Usagi-san and I are t-together, and I beg you to please stop this...! It would do us both good if you stopped and just left the matter alone, please...”

Ijuuin’s hand stayed at his arm, and Misaki only felt more uncomfortable by the second as the man’s entertained stare persisted. Misaki almost felt insulted by it, even more so when Ijuuin opened his mouth to speak, disregarding everything Misaki had just said. “You don’t have to lie to me, Misaki. I can tell how uncertain you are of your feelings—that man clearly loves _you_ , but he’s playing a losing game, desperately trying to win your affections. You come so much more easily to me, don’t you notice? You tell me you love me with such certainty—and I can tell you’ve never had that much certainty about Usami-sensei. It is as clear as day, my sweet Misaki.”

With every word the man drew closer, and with every word Misaki began to realize that he’d had it. He’d had it with other people constantly doubting his feelings for Akihiko and interrogating him, assuming things, trying to take him away without even attempting to understand how _he_ felt—

“You’re wrong!” He lashed out, jostling the larger man away and glaring piercingly. “You’re wrong—when I said that I liked you, it was different, and you know it! I admire you and love your work! It’s much different! Usagi-san and I—w-we—I love him! I do! I’m not uncertain in the slightest, okay?! We’ve spent years together, now, and I won’t be torn from him so easily! I’m deeply sorry, Ijuuin-sensei, but you’ve made the wrong assumptions about me, and that’s your own fault.”

He panted, suddenly out of breath for exerting such emotion, though it finally seemed to have gotten through to the author—he stared wide-eyed, looking as if he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Still, Misaki felt pity for him—he had, all throughout this ordeal—and tried to continue in a gentler tone after a minute of uncertain silence. “...I hope you take nothing out on Usagi-san; this was between you and me. And please don’t let this get in the way of work. I want us both to be able to continue with no bad tension, maybe as friends, and possibly forgetting that this happened at all. I still admire and respect you greatly as the author of my favorite work, and I still wish to help you in any way possible, but I just...” He took a deep breath, straightening himself—he needed to be professional. Perhaps this was what the ‘adult’ world was truly like. “...I decline in your advances. I already have someone, and I’m not interested in you in that way at all. Please don’t try this again.”

He didn’t dare look at the man across from him, and when he heard no answer, he muttered, “Excuse me,” pushing his way past and swiftly exiting the room. The pity was still there, for sure, and doubts entered his mind. What if he’d been too straightforward, or rude? Was he disrespectful?

Shaking them off, he clenched his hands and didn’t look back. Akihiko would be proud of him.

 

 

They’d spent seven years together, now, so one would expect Fuyuhiko Usami to come to terms with it by now. Even so, that didn’t stop the intimidating old man from scheduling dinners with Misaki at least once every three months—what Misaki secretly dubbed the ‘Quarterly Interrogation.’ Not that it was too bad; much of the time Fuyuhiko would spend ranting about wooden bear carvings or contentedly reminiscing about his sons in their younger years. During the first few meetings, the atmosphere had been much more suffocating and uneasy, but now both men seemed to have grown accustomed to each other’s company, and Misaki was no longer worried.

Though this time he found himself anxious and stressed again, because he knew it would be different. Fuyuhiko had no idea what was coming his way, but Misaki knew everything, and was determined that this would be _the_ night. He’d already practiced at least seven times in front of his mirror; he could do this.

_And maybe... this is what I need to do to prove my worth to Papa-Usagi._

The older man greeted him and began chatting as normal; Misaki was certain he himself was visibly sweating bullets in his too-tight suit. He replied as usual, with one-word answers or nods of the head, but couldn’t seem to get a word in otherwise. Was it just Misaki’s nerves, or was Fuyuhiko talking more rapidly than usual, barely leaving any space for Misaki to speak?

Finally, when the main course was brought to the table, Misaki spied a window of opportunity.

“So, how are things with my son?”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Misaki schooled his expression to be void of any nervousness or uneasiness. This was how it always went; Fuyuhiko would talk mindlessly about one or two trivial subjects, and only get to the real meat of the conversation thirty minutes later. Maybe this was his chance!

“Um, they’re going fine. Great, actually. Which is why, um...” As an expression of interest showed itself on Fuyuhiko’s face, Misaki found himself shying away and mentally scolded his actions. He couldn’t falter—he had to do this!

“...Well, w-we’ve been together many years, s-so... Y-You could probably expect it, but... I-I’d like to ask your permission to m-marry him.”

As he finished, his eyes were diverted and hands slightly trembling, much to his distress. He forced himself to glance back up and nearly flinched as he saw it—Fuyuhiko’s eyes grew wide for a second, before his countenance returned to a neutral, inconspicuous state. When the older man replied, his tone matched his demeanor—blatant and impersonal.

“Absolutely not.”

Immediately, Misaki ducked his head down again, face flushing in embarrassment and stomach curling in self-consciousness all at once. What did he mean, _‘absolutely not?’_ Was he serious, or was this a test? With how long he and Akihiko had been together, Misaki had thought that Fuyuhiko would know this was coming.

“...U-Um, Usami-san—“ In a smaller voice, he attempted to make sense of the situation, but Fuyuhiko saw through him and swiftly interrupted.

“Nothing against you personally, Misaki-kun, as I find you to be a kind and... humble young man. It is simply that I would not allow it.”

_How can he say such things without even blinking?_

Misaki felt the sting of tears edging at his eyes, but fought back against it as he slowly looked up. “...Wh-Why?”

This time, Fuyuhiko donned a small smile. “Oh, many reasons, Misaki-kun. I couldn’t hardly bore you with all the details at this time. Akihiko would scold me for making you come home half-asleep and braindead.”

With every word, Misaki only felt his spirits sinking lower. He felt a tear trail down his cheek, but wiped it away ashamedly. He was acting naïve, childish, he thought.

“...T-Tell me...”

And so, Fuyuhiko told him of how Misaki wasn’t a fit match and probably would never be. Of how Misaki only allowed Akihiko to slink deeper and deeper into his authorial career rather than urging him to follow in his father’s footsteps, as a prospective spouse rightfully would. And the last point was obvious—Misaki could never give Akihiko a child to carry on the Usami business after Fuyuhiko passed away.

When all was said and done, Misaki was left red-faced and silently wiping at his tears. Fuyuhiko let him, until eventually the boy finally croaked out, “...Is that it?”

“Yes, that’s it. Boring stuff, right? Nothing you would care to listen to.”

“...D-Do you not take your son’s happiness into account?”

At this, Fuyuhiko raised an eyebrow slightly. “Hm...?”

Misaki had no plan of what to say, merely following what his heart urged him to do. “I... W-We love each other. D-Doesn’t that matter?”

“Why, of course it _matters_ , Misaki-kun,” Fuyuhiko looked incredulous, as if he couldn’t fathom why Misaki would try and bring that up. “However, what does something like _that_ have anything at all to do with something such as marriage?”

Confounded, Misaki sniffed and stared at the man across from him. It was obvious they weren’t seeing eye-to-eye on the subject, and through his overwhelming sadness, he mustered up the courage for another try.

“...B-But... I-I’ve w-worked hard t-to make it ideal a-and prove myself to you. I h-have a good job, and I k-keep Usagi-san in line—you know this...! I-I can take care of him, give him a g-good life... Usami-san, I p-promise I can... Please... I’ve made sure of it...”

“I’m afraid I cannot believe you, Misaki-kun. You asked me permission, and I am not giving it. It’s as simple as that.”

It was almost heartless how professionally Fuyuhiko shot him down. Misaki heaved a sharp intake of breath and clenched his fists, trying not to burst into tears. He was speaking straight from the heart; how could Fuyuhiko not believe him? Had he not proved his worth throughout all these years? Misaki felt as if all that he’d worked for had simply crumbled to dust within these moments.

He opened his mouth to say more, possibly reason with Fuyuhiko in some other way, entreat him _somehow_ —but he found no words. The longer Misaki’s small huffs of breath continued, Fuyuhiko understood that the matter was closed and clasped his hands together.

At least he was gracious enough to give Misaki as much time as needed to calm himself.

Nevertheless, Misaki stayed dejected and low-spirited for the remainder of the dinner, until Fuyuhiko dropped him back off with an amicable smile and a wave of the hand. Misaki waved back, but he was certain his sorrow was evident on his face—the tear-tracks were just an added bonus.

Luckily, it was late enough that Akihiko was already fast asleep when Misaki checked, and the downtrodden younger man sighed both in relief and heartache. He didn’t want his love to see him like this, especially since Akihiko would no doubt believe it to be Fuyuhiko’s fault and track the man down to punish him—not that it _wasn’t_ Fuyuhiko’s fault, but... Misaki didn’t want to cause any more trouble than he already had.

Marriage—how could he even have been thinking of it? He’d built himself up to believing he was prepared for the task, but after talking with Fuyuhiko, he found himself wondering why he’d ever thought it was possible. There was no way such a thing could happen. Not with him and Akihiko.

With these thoughts filling up his mind, he silently crawled into bed and carefully pulled Akihiko’s large arm around himself, hiding himself in the covers until he could finally sleep and think of nothing.

 

 

It was a day like any other—or, night, for that matter. Misaki was so focused on brushing his teeth, lost deep in thought, that he barely noticed his lover sneak up on him. It was too late for him to react in time, and he was quickly caught in a familiar embrace from behind.

“U-Usagi-san, let go...!” He tried to protest as usual, though his words were garbled by the toothbrush still in his mouth. He attempted to elbow the persistent man as well, but Akihiko only grinned against his neck and breathed in deeply. The feeling caused Misaki to shudder slightly, to his humiliation.

“Oh, my Misaki... You smell so good...” Akihiko murmured into his ear, and Misaki tilted his head away, feeling the blood rushing to it. That irritating man _always_ did this, and yet...

“Qu-Quit it...” Misaki mumbled, hurrying to finish brushing his teeth and washing his mouth out with his lover’s arms still annoyingly around him. Once he was finally done, he breathed a sigh of completion; Akihiko took it as such and swiftly turned him around to press a kiss on his minty mouth.

“A-Alright...” Pushing him away slightly, Misaki muttered against the other’s lips. After so many years of living and being with Akihiko, he was no longer truly adverse to any sort of touch, but he hadn’t exactly been expecting to engage in anything tonight. All he’d been hoping to do was burrow himself into the bedsheets and fall asleep uninhibited.

Akihiko seemed to have a different idea of how their night should go and pulled Misaki closer again, resting his head on the shorter man’s shoulder. They swayed in each other’s arms for a moment—Misaki would at least allow him this—and Akihiko pressed his lips to the skin before him.

“I love you...”

Misaki blushed bright as he heard it—so many times he’d heard it, but it never ceased to have this effect on him—and simply hummed in response. Akihiko only clenched tighter.

“...You haven’t told me in a long time, Misaki...”

Immediately, Misaki felt guilty, hearing the worry in his lover’s voice. It was true; after his most recent talk with Fuyuhiko, his mind had been in a more depressed state. He’d been shying away from intimacy more often since then, and hadn’t said _it_ once...

After so many years, he could now say it without stuttering or second-guessing, but Akihiko still felt self-conscious if Misaki went a long time without an _‘I love you’_ leaving his lips. Closing his eyes and resolving himself, Misaki held his partner’s arms and he slowly pulled away to face him.

“...L-Let’s... um, do it, Usagi-san...” He was sure his face was bright crimson and ducked it slightly. Akihiko seemed to pause in surprise for a moment, before leaning down quickly and hungrily capturing the younger’s lips.

“Misaki...” he growled out into the other’s mouth, wrapping his arms back around the smaller form and feeling _everything—_ shoulders, the dip of his back, his ass and thighs. Every part of Misaki was perfect to him, molded just right to the shape of his larger hands. His tongue shot out, eager to take all that his love had to offer, and Misaki hummed around it, meeting it with his own as his arms wrapped around Akihiko’s neck to run through his hair. They were fully enraptured with each other. As Misaki felt Akihiko’s hand pinch his bottom just a bit stronger, pleasure sparked suddenly in his crotch and he gasped, pulling away for air.

“Mn... B-Bedroom...” he breathed, not wanting to have sex in the bathroom at any costs. That’d happened more than once, and each time it’d left him uncomfortable and with bruises from the countertop’s edge.

Akihiko simply grunted in response, picking up his love and speedily carrying him to their abode. Misaki wrapped his legs around his waist, careful of being dropped, which caused their groins to rub together slightly. He let out a higher-pitched moan as he was pulled closer, Akihiko roughly breathing in his ear, taking pleasure in the impromptu grinding.

“You’re mine...” The author mumbled into his ear before dropping him onto the bed—a familiar motion. Misaki only looked up at him as he descended, leaving small nips and wet kisses across his face and neck. “You always taste so good, Misaki...”

He was showered with such praise on a daily basis, but it still managed to fluster him for some reason. The pinkness in his face traveled to his neck and chest, seeming to follow Akihiko’s mouth. Soon, though, the author found himself blocked by the annoying fabric his love was wearing. Hastily, he removed it, pulling off Misaki’s pants for good measure; the boy only gasped and squirmed as he was unclothed, wrapping his arms loosely around his bare stomach.

“U-Usagi-san, you too...” That was all he could put forth as an attempted protest; it wasn’t fair to be the only one devoid of clothing, after all. Akihiko smirked but smoothly complied, stripping his own clothes slower, intent to give his partner a show. Seeing those admirable abdominals on display, Misaki gulped, and then wet his lips when Akihiko went the extra mile to reveal his sizeable member. It was fully erect, somehow, even though they hadn’t done much—the thought that he could do _this_ to Usami Akihiko only made Misaki’s flush intensify.

Noticing the changing color, Akihiko smiled. His lover was acting cute, as always. Without another word, he continued his ravishing, leaning down to press more kisses and bites on the boy’s chest. Misaki gasped and worried his lip as he felt the teeth and tongue against his nipple. _Damn this man..._

“U-Usagi-san, n-not so much there...” He mumbled out pathetically when he felt a small bite, his dick simultaneously giving a twitch. Damn him, _damn_ him, how he could so effortlessly work Misaki’s body like he was playing an instrument... Misaki couldn’t understand it. As he felt those cold hands trail down to his briefs, though, he figured it was okay to not understand.

“A-Ah...”

“So cute...”

Misaki glared as he heard the muttering, but was cut off by his own squeal as that tongue dipped into his bellybutton. With every lick and caress, he felt himself growing harder, and by the time Akihiko reached his crotch there was a sizeable bump yearning to break free of its confines. Misaki flushed in embarrassment yet again.

“U-Uh...” He gasped again as Akihiko gave a tentative suck against the dampening fabric, smiling into it.

“You’re already like this—just look at you...” There came a mumble, and Misaki closed his eyes tightly shut, turning his head away to be hidden in a pillow.

“Y-You... You’re one to talk—Ah...!”

“Misaki...” Akihiko moaned around the heat, seeming to take pleasure in his partner’s own enjoyment, and ravenously sucked, licking lower at times and moving his hands to caress Misaki’s ass. When his fingertips rubbed against Misaki’s entrance from outside the fabric, Misaki whined and shot his legs up, trying to close them despite Akihiko’s presence.

“U-Usagi-san, n-not like that...”

Akihiko at once quit his current ministrations and smiled lovingly at the other man, moving his hand back up to squeeze at Misaki’s erection still. “Misaki, dear, what is it you want, then? You need to say it, or else I won’t know for sure...” he entreated, before kissing at Misaki’s inner thigh.

Clenching his hands into the sheets, Misaki mulled it over stressfully. They were both too far gone, at this point—and he went into this wanting to give himself to Akihiko, wanting to say that he loved him...

“...M-Make love to me...”

It was just a whisper, but Akihiko heard it and grinned happily against his lover’s thigh. “Oh, Misaki... Yes, sweetheart...” He absolutely loved when Misaki _asked_ for it, which happened less often than usual. Hurrying, he lunged back up to passionately kiss Misaki once again, pulling the last of the boy’s clothes off in the process. Misaki moaned into the mouth as his hardness was finally freed and brushing against his partner’s, both of them feeling sparks of pleasure that urged them to continue for more.

“M-Mmh... B-Be gentle, please...” When they parted, Misaki muttered against the older man’s ear, his eyes still squeezed shut. It hadn’t been that long since they’d done this—just a week or two ago—but that didn’t mean Misaki could handle any rushing. Aware of his love’s fragility during this sort of activity, Akihiko pressed comforting kisses to his cheek as he blindly reached over onto the bedside counter for their bottle of lube. With skill, he slicked his fingers one-handedly and trailed them down to his Misaki’s newly exposed entrance, circling around it.

“Spread your legs a little more, sweet...” He softly ordered, and Misaki obliged with a red face, holding the larger form tighter against him, as if Akihiko were his shield. As he felt the first finger penetrate, he breathed in slowly, trying his best to become accustomed to it quickly.

Akihiko was sure to move slowly, humming questioningly every once in a while to check if he could continue, only to receive quiet, high hums in response. When the second finger entered, Misaki gasped, and when Akihiko began scissoring them, he writhed and whimpered. Feeling the digits move around inside him lit a strange, exhilarating fire in his belly; it always shocked him to experience it, but he always found himself wanting more. After too much time waiting, he managed to voice it.

“M-More, Usagi-san... I can take more...”

“Mn, Misaki...” Akihiko delighted in the communication, and entered in a third finger. His lover’s walls immediately clenched around the intrusion, though they lessoned as Akihiko was sure to rub and prod gently. Anything too rough or quick wouldn’t make progress—at least, not now.

As he continued the movements, Misaki’s body turned slack, his limbs completely relaxing. He let out soft, almost silent moans mindlessly, the noises soon becoming more rhythmic to match Akihiko’s movements. Eventually, the fingers gently thrust close to his prostate, barely brushing against the patch of nerves, and Misaki arched his hips upwards.

“Mn, o-oh, A-Akihiko...” He shakily breathed out, his following moans being muffled by an insistent mouth. The author undoubtedly adored it whenever Misaki uttered his given name, which only happened during moments as intimate as these.

“Ah, Misaki, I need you now...” Akihiko hurriedly whispered, barely being able to take it. His erection was straining desperately against Misaki’s belly, smearing a sticky substance against the skin, and Misaki could feel the heat. Wanting more of _anything_ , he nodded dazedly.

Carefully, the fingers detracted, and Misaki nearly whined at finding himself feeling empty—though he held it back, knowing he would only get teased more. Thankfully, Akihiko wasted no time, and returned to the lube to slick up his shaft before pressing the tip to the still twitching hole. Misaki bit his lip, readying himself, and his mouth was captured again as he was entered. His desperate moan was muffled, but his hands still clenched and scrambled against Akihiko’s arms, which were on either side of him, holding him still.

It hurt, at first, as it always did. No type of lubing up could ever fully prepare him for something Akihiko’s size—still, though, the burn was pleasurable. He’d grown to find it enticing, somehow, and now wiggled his hips against it, clenching himself to feel it entirely. Akihiko groaned at the sensation, and Misaki smiled against the man’s lips, feeling the pride of a slight accomplishment.

Though, when Akihiko thrust forward a little more, Misaki’s smile vanished and he let out a sharp gasp, clinging to his lover’s shoulders. The length inside of him nudged against his prostate, sending him mixed signals of overwhelming pleasure and pain—enough to send him dizzy for a moment. He curled his toes, circling his legs around his partner.

“Fuck, Misaki, you’re so...” Akihiko seemed to be unable to finish his thoughts, giving Misaki a little more time to calm before thrusting in and out again, eliciting another moan. This method continued before they found themselves in a rhythm, Misaki soon bucking his own hips to meet him.

“Mmn, Misaki, Misaki...” The author repeatedly whispered against his ear as the hot length continuously filled him; Misaki felt just as overcome, unable to answer with anything but gasps and whimpers of ecstasy. Just as he was reaching his peak, though—just as Akihiko began hitting his button with every thrust, which felt _godawful amazing—_ the movements slowed, eventually ceasing entirely. Still panting in heated arousal, Misaki tilted his heavy head to meet his lover’s gaze.

“U-Usagi-s-san... Wh-Why...?” He mumbled out, fruitlessly wiggling his own hips to strike that spot again. It didn’t work, and he whined in a needy haze, Akihiko’s hands suddenly resting on either side of his chest, feeling his ribs.

“I love you, Misaki... Ride me...”

Eager to have the pleasure and love returned to him, Misaki clenched his hands and nodded clumsily. Immediately he was turned over and directly sitting on the hard length—Akihiko had never exited him, causing him to gasp in a stunned pleasure. Quickly, he leaned down to inelegantly kiss Akihiko’s jaw—anywhere he could reach—before moving his hips erratically, in a frenzy, eager to start up that rhythm again that was _just perfect_ and hit all the right spots.

“Ah, yes, just like that, baby... I love seeing you like this,” Akihiko mumbled out between his grunts, embarrassing Misaki and spurring him on at the same time. Every now and then, as he rocked his hips relentlessly, that shock of pleasure would spark through him—but he could never maintain it with irregular movements and overeager writhing. He was simply too tired, his legs aching, but he _wanted_ it, and he whined, frustrated, as he eventually settled with grinding himself on the prick.

Watching the display of neediness and passion, Akihiko only grew larger inside his lover, feeling himself come closer to his peak. Growling in overwhelming lust, he thrust up suddenly into Misaki, eliciting a sharp moan from the boy which was quickly consumed by their meeting mouths. Misaki still squeaked into his lips as Akihiko began rapidly pushing up into him, holding onto his hips to keep their rhythm steady and strong. Misaki was sure he was going to have bruises tomorrow—and no doubt he would be sore as a motherfucker—but he didn’t care.

The sparks of pleasure returned, growing in intensity as Akihiko was practically abusing his prostate, and Misaki nearly screeched into the man’s mouth as his own neglected member was held—not stroked, but simply held.

“Misaki... Say it for me, please, love...”

Hearing the desperation and desire in the author’s husky voice, Misaki immediately answered loud, despite his dry throat.

“I love you, Akihiko...!”

He was at completion, and his declaration morphed into a dazed, long moan as he spurted out onto Akihiko’s abdomen. The other man quickly followed, and Misaki let out a softer moan as he felt the warm heat shooting inside him.

“A-Ah...” He gasped again as he was pulled down into his lover’s arms, the softening length exiting him with a quiet but embarrassing popping noise. Misaki suddenly realized the heat of his burning face, and buried it into Akihiko’s cool neck. Feeling the hand that had trailed up to card soothingly through his hair, he let himself relax into the form under him, despite the slightly uncomfortable stickiness between their skins.

They rested, and with Akihiko’s hands peacefully stroking over the planes of his back and sides, Misaki found himself almost falling asleep. Before he could succumb, though, he managed to let out another whisper.

“...I love you.” He was tired of people doubting his relationship, his feelings for this man. Here, in this room, he knew that Akihiko would always believe him, and that filled him with overwhelming strength, even if he currently felt so exhausted that he couldn’t move his limbs.

“I love you too, Misaki.” His head was lifted up slightly, and a sweet kiss accompanied the reply.

Assuming that it was safe to fall asleep now, Misaki tilted his head back into the crook of his lover’s neck and breathed deeply. The stickiness was still uncomfortable—both outside and inside of him, to his distaste—but he’d just taken a shower not too long ago, and he was much too tired to consider another. He’d wait until morning.

Then, just as he was toeing the line between consciousness and sleep, he heard it, soft near his ears.

“We should get married.”

That awoke him quickly, though he didn’t make any sudden movements. Immediately his mind fled back to the conversation with Fuyuhiko, and the intense shame he felt. He’d already been through this—marriage was not possible, he thought. Why, then, was Akihiko now saying this?

He could nearly hear the man already saying, _“Fuck what my father thinks. He can’t do anything.”_ Yes, that’s exactly what he would say, if Misaki told him. But still...

Did they have to talk about this _now?_ Just as he was falling asleep, the author had to go and say _that—_ Misaki nearly was angry at him for it. His anger dissolved into quiet sobs.

The body suddenly shaking in Akihiko’s arms startled him, and he tilted them over so he could fully face and envelop Misaki. He wiped the tears gently, kissing where they left tracks.

“What’s wrong, love? Are you that much against it? We don’t need to discuss it immediately—I-I just thought...” Unsure for once, Akihiko trailed off, blinking when Misaki adamantly shook his head and buried it in the larger man’s chest. Whatever Misaki was saying ‘no’ to, Akihiko couldn’t know.

“I... love you, so much, Misaki...” It was all he could think to say to make the younger man feel better, and he held tighter, hoping it would work. It did, and Misaki’s weeping lessened in volume as he nuzzled the other’s cool skin.

Whether marriage was right for them or not, Misaki had no idea. He seemed to not understand anything, nothing except for the love Akihiko and he shared. Realizing at least that gave him a much needed assurance, and he clung tighter to it, holding on for dear life. Eventually, Akihiko noticed the small tremors cease and kissed the top of the sleeping boy’s head, silently promising a million things.

**Author's Note:**

> My first Junjou fic, so hopefully it was good? (Ahahaha sometimes I'm good at smut and sometimes it's absolutely terrible so I really don't know) Let me know what you think in the comments and thank you so much for reading! <3


End file.
